Sonntag, 25. Juni 2017
I've been absent from my blog for quite some time now.
The reason I haven't done anything on here at all after the closing of my YouTube-Channel back then was simply because I honestly forgot about this blog of mine entirely.
Anyways, let me give you a quick recap on what's been going on in my life so far and then let's talk about some future stuff.
I closed down my YouTube-Channel because I felt very unhappy with the course my channel was taking aswell as the quality of my content.
I've always been a very destructive person, so the closure of my channel isn't really a surprise since I have done quick decisions similar like that in the past before.
I've opened up a new channel before I closed down DACFlux and I am actually somewhat still using it. Momentarily it's just a plattform for me to put snippets of unfinished songs I've been working on up on it and comment under videos of other people.
I had to go through a hell lot of troublesome stuff in the timespan of the closure of my channel up to this very moment I am writing this new blog post.
In that timespan I've probably visited doctors and hospitals more than I have all the years before this time combined. I've experienced a gastric juice overflow in my body, which led me to manifest a phobia. I had to learn to be less afraid of having to vomit over a long period of time, aswell as train going to public place and hold out my panic attacks in order to slowly get used to it and make myself realize bit by bit that there is nothing to be afraid of. Either I vomit and that's that or I manage to calm my body down, slow down my heart rate and escape the panic attack (which by the way always caused nausea).
I've been sued by a classmate of mine for threatening him, even though he was the one who came at me and thratened me with physical violence. The policewoman who interviewed me looked through the chatlogs I voluntarely gave her (something he didn't do), which lead her to see both sides and realize that not only I was threatened by him first, but also we kept threatening each other continuesly to no end. Or to put it simple: she realized that I'm not the bad guy, and that in fact in that specific situation neither he and me were the bad guys.
I waited a couple of months until I finally received a beautiful piece of paper on which the judge who went over the details of the case, that there is not enough public interest and thus the case was dropped since the guy who sued me actually never got in contact with the police at all after they interviewed him.
I still have the piece of paper and I actually hung it up on my wall becauses let's face it, when will you ever get such a message?
I am currently in the middle of my finals. In a couple of days everything will be over. Currently, in two days roughly, the first wave of non-written tests will take place.
So basically in a couple of days I will be done with school once again, hopefully get decent grades and hopefully finally manage to find a god damn job with my better considered school report.
Right now I don't do much, I actually didn't even prepare myself when I took the written exams.
All I did so far was reading the new book I have to present in the matter of 5 minutes in 2 days, aswell as refresh my notes for the EUROCOM presentation.
The topic I chose is 'Sloths'. I really love sloths so I thought it was the perfect topic for me to pick and present + since sloths mostly live somewhere around south america (or originated from there?) it has a connection to the topic 'english' and so I was allowed to take that topic and present it in a few days.
Tomorrow I will refresh my knowledge about genetics in biology and the cold war for the history exam.
I honestly have still no clue what's going to happen after I'm done with my finals.
I guess I'll try and find a job or perhaps at least a part-time job so I can make some money, get an income and save up for later.
So yeah, I guess I'll take it slow and easy again, though if I should get a chance, I might consider it.
Wether it'd be a job-offer, a schooling or whatever.
Anyways, so basically I still have no real plans for my future yet, all I want is finally start working and slowly but steadily work towards my dream, which is to leave this god forsaken country known as germany and finally move to japan.
Yeah yeah, I know what you're thinking 'But gee, that's so weeabo-ish' and to that I'll only reply with:
I always wanted to live on a countryside-like place, and after I've seen a couple of pictures of some of the wide open areas in japan I just knew that those are the places I want to live one day. They looked so calm, so quiet and so empty. Perfect in my opinion.
You have to know, I'm the type of person who just wants a calm life. I don't want to party, I don't want action all day long, I just want to sit in the sun, listen to the insects singing their songs of hatred and live as carefree as possible. All I want is barely enough money to live and a calming scenery around the place I live, since ever since I was born I've been living right in front of a damn hospital. Let me tell you, living in front of that gigantic beast is pure horror. Every second night you hear endless screams of woman who give birth, puking, shouting and crying people who are hurt or sick.
Confused people walking around and doing a bunch of loud things in the middle of the night who escaped out of the asylum which is in the same building as the hospital. Many construction-sites all day everyday surrounding me, sirens crying, arguments and fights breaking out, emergencies every minute. It's not a nice place when you all you seek in live is a peaceful atmosphere, that I tell ya.
Anyways, that's it so far. Alot more has happened, but I don't want to go too much in detail about the things happening in my private life, since mostly stressful very private things happened in the timespan I was gone. I'm not sure at the moment if I'll continue with my blog now or if perhaps I'll just give it up. But I do know that I have a goal, and towards that goal I will work as much as I have to in order to reach it. I want to live a quiet and peaceful life, and I will eventually get there, no matter the cost.
Donnerstag, 30. März 2017
today I saw London. It was fantastic!
I got to ride some really cool carts dragged by horses and I also saw a Locomotive.
The people there were kind of unfriendly to be honest, but oh well, I guess it can't be helped.
After all they are having a rough time at the moment.
I even saw gangs fighting each other, crazy stuff I tell ya!
I met a guy, Greenie. Chilled lad, though I'm not really sure what his personality is like. So far he's been kind of quiet and rather watched instead of join in in any shape or form.
I got to fight in a fight-club-like small arena for money and you won't believe it...
I won! I'm now officially the champion of that fight-club. I made some good cash just by beating up some random dudes, isn't that crazy?
Anyways, I have to go. London's not liberating itself you know. I have to do make sure the creed is pleased with my work. I think I'm going to declare war against the Blighters for now. Let's see how far I can get together with the Rooks. Later.
Montag, 15. Juni 2015
Eventually there will be new Reviews soon. I bought about 14 games in the steam summer sale. But first I gotta decide which game could be optimal for a review. I decide it on the length of the game, the inventory if it fits and many more things. I will let them all go through the selection first. And when I find a fitting one, then I will produce one as soon and fast as possible.
I will keep you up to date on twitter. So be sure to always check my page so you dont miss future updates and news. And of course here and there some random stuff with stupid humor and weird moments. Have fun and hopefully I'll see you in my next review.
Samstag, 31. Januar 2015
Hello dear Interwebs People out there who are actually reading my blog.
My name is Flux, and all people wjo know me would describe me as loud, annoying and a guy who swears and curse all the time, laughing ablout every so simple joke and cant hold back to make even worse jokes about topics he shouldn't joke about. That's me.
Today I decided that I ruined by this lifestyle my life even more than I could have ever imagined. From being pervy and creepy to being an absolute a-hole to all the people I know, including my friends and family. I am planning on changing this TODAY! But before I explain how, let me tell you a little backstory of mine.
It started in the second type of school I visited. I made new friends at day one. After some time a new guy appeared on the school and later on he became one of ny best friends.
He had cruel and sometimes even overtop and unfunmy humor. He loved gore movies like Saw, Hostle, the human centipede and many more. I always took my space and tried not to become like him. Suddenly one day we actually laughed about the same unfunny and stupid joke and I knew, that this is gonna be a hard life I'll have.
I already knew that I became more and more like him even tho I didn't wanted that. I started watching splatter movies with him even tho I was a kindhearted guy and I disliked brutality in any form. I started making really mean jokes about the friend we had in school, yeah you could say I nearly bullied him. It went thst far. I made stupid jokes like him and started drawing gruesome and really damn weird drawings in school and outside school.
And this is how everything started. How I became the person I am today. I eventually dropped out of school and lost complete contact to all my friends there.
Basically... I lost every single friend I had in my life whenever something like dropping out of school or changing from school to school happened. Now I was alone. I only had my internet friends left and they reduced also even more than I wanted it. At the end I had one guy I always could have counted on. Chui.
Chui and I know each other since many many years now and of course we had here and there some really hard arguments and eventually even ignored each other for a while. I quickly found some new friends over the internet. Through some sites. Friends of other friends. Yea even some subscribers I knew back in the days of me.
Now. What happened was: I had an allergic reaction, probably due to the high amount of medicals I took back then due to some other physical problems I had. I couldn't finish my finals and so I was there. Sitting at home for a complete year, just waiting to finally restart my finals again... a complete year huh... time flies by.. anyways. I was all alone by myself. And thanks to the physical illness I had for months, I couldn't even take a step outside my door without feeling to nearly puke and die.
So there I was. 24/7 all by myself. No one I could talk to because I lost my RL friends. No one who could comfort me when I was sick again. No one I could tell a story or a joke or even just hang out together. Eventually I stsrted unintentionally talking to myself because of all the loneliness and bad thoughts I had. And it actually worked. I thought I'll never need any humans in my life ever again. So I started telling myself stupid and unfunny jokes which I already knew. Starting real conversation with my inner me. And eventually lost all my sanity. My sanity was already so low, that I started harrassing others instead of me to get rid of my anger and my frustration and all that stuff. And I hurt many people which I am not in contact anymore.
I completly lost myself and became "something" I never expected I would become. Everything turned around. I wasn't myself anymore. I was a guy who sat all day long in front of his pc, thinking he is a god and everyone should obey to him. It is kind of embarrassing talking about myself like that. But that's the truth. I got nothing to hide. Not anymore. Everything seems to be useless to me eipther if it's about a secret or even if it's about something deep or important. I literally care about nothing anymore. I don't care if I live or die. If I hurt someone or myself by saying mean things and insulting someone or myself. This is not what I want to be. I don't wanna be a respectless little kid who acts like everyone and everything belongs to him. I don't want this. And this is the reason why I started thinking about 3 simple rules to try to get my lifr in perfect balance again and try to be somewhat "normal" in the eyes of others.
And here we are. The 3 rules you waited for since you started reading my enourmosly long Blog entry.
Rule 1: Friendly
Rule 2: Respectful
Rule 3: Honorable
Rule 1 is simple. Being friendly. No matter what a bad day I had, or how someone acts or REACTS I will NOT insult someone, offend someone, abuse the help of someone and I will NOT swear and insult with it even more people un- or intensionally.
Rule 2 means that I have to be respectful to other people. Don't hurt their feelings. Accept their opinions. Let people be. Someone who doesn't give others some respect, will never earn respect. Simple as that.
Rule 3 isn't complicated but will take a bit longer to explain whaf I meant by that.
Being an honorable member of our community is seriously hard, but worthy and successful work. It basically means that I follow Rule 1 and 2 AND also do something for others. Help others out when I got the chance to do so. So basically it means being friendly and helpful, respecting evyeryone's opinions or respect them at all. Working hard to be part of this thing called "Life" and of course last but not least: honor others for their actions and maybe gain honor someday aswell for MY actions.
Friendly, Respectful, Honorable.
These 3 Rules will guide my Life from now on. There will be no excuse if I break one of these rules, because I made them up to guide my way through life and become a piece of my life and the life of others.
I am really thankful for the fact that you took your time to read my blog-entry and I thank you so much for supporting me even by reading this post.
I love you, people.
And I wish that everything goes as you plan in your lifes :-)
Have a nice day or evening. And have a nice life :-)
Montag, 5. Januar 2015
Today I wanna shout out a quick announcement which is kind of important.
First of all, to all my readers who are also in my Skype friend list, I won't be able to talk to you probably for a while, because it seems like my Skype doesn't want to work anymore.
I tried many things out, but nothing worked. So yeah... I won't be able to talk to you, just so you know. Sorry about that.
This "big" announcement is only important for all my YouTube-viewers.
Something happened with the internet company I am paying for my connection, and thankfully this time what happened is FINALLY positive. It seems like a mistake happened, and now I will have in a few days a 200k Internet connection. I actually ordered the 120k connection because it wasn't that expensive, but how I said, probably a mistake happened there and now I'll get the 200k for the same price :-)
I already asked the people there and even they don't even know what happened. So yeah. They told me, we'll stick with the 200k now instead of re-doing everything.
So yeah, in a few days I'll have a really fast internet connection and that means:
-High quality Live streams on Twitch.tv
-High quality Video Uploads on YouTube
-Quick downloads and uploads (Lots of positive opportunities)
-Great connections, less lags, more features with other people
-Better ping in calls (if I am the host = good Skype quality in a talk for features)
Overall it is more than positive.
Overall it means: Better download and upload rate, streaming and video quality (because of faster uploads), better connection in games and also in Skype calls.
This will affect you only in the way how many videos I will be able to upload, and how good my Streams on Twitch.tv will look like.
Also the download-speed is pretty important, because thanks to it, I will be able to download my steam games list all again one after another, and that means I got more time to record game-play for my reviews or for other video-types and this will also affect how fast I will be able to start and upload my projects.
So all in all, it is a positive change which will start in a few days, of course I will try to test together with you (my viewers) my connection out, by downloading all my steam games and record it to see how long it takes to download all my 145 games, and also of course I will test out live my live stream quality on twitch.
So, I hope I'll see you guys and girls in a bit when I got my new awesome internet connection.
Have a nice day, and be excited just like me :-)
Donnerstag, 6. November 2014
Today I got corrupted by sin. I killed so many of them. I just couldnt stop. Sinamoi and the others needed my help. And in the end I found out that everything was wasted time. This fucking army... seriously... they just fucking blown the god damn Island. The people I helped... the people I risked my life for. Everything was gone and everything I did was just wasted time. The infection continued. After I finally got off this fucking boat I was stranded on an island. And guess what. The zombies were there already. Waiting for me to get killed by my hand again and again. I found jason and also killed him. And then I died. I ragequit. Next time I will defeat pope. Trust me. The runners will survive. Until the end of days. Until the judgement day. The day where I will stop the corrupt and close minded people and freeing all the conduits so they can live free together with the normal humans. One day.... I'll defeat General Totenkopf a.k.a. Deathhead. The Walking Dead will be my slaves, I will plant some plants to fight with me against the zombies. Together we will defeat the evil major and help and free all constructs. One day... we will be the Last of Us.
I'm gonna find my dad now. And find out that the infected are aliens. And the voice in my head actually exist. Penumbra is waiting for me again. Lel.
Today my Mom tried to kill me. She told me that God told her, that I'm corrupted by sin. And then she tried to knife me. I was able to escape. I flee through our Basement and went deeper and deeper. And for some odd shit I landed in her womb. Dont ask me how I did that pls. I really dont wanna talk about it. I sliced open her heart. And then this goat guy appeared and fought me. After I defeated him I fought myself. And found a chest... with an old dramatically sad photo in it.
Mom is back. Seems like she got rebirthed. Lel. Good bye.